You Know You’re a Graphic Designer When…

By LaurenMarie

You watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials and then critique the CG and cinematography.

Your friends and family won’t watch movies or TV with you because you make too many comments about the poor lighting or bad composition.

You are pro-Facebook because 95% of the MySpace pages burn your retinas.

You are completely immune to subliminal advertising.

You refuse to purchase products that have poorly designed packaging.

You buy dog food based on the bag’s use of color and typography.

You critique every piece of design you see without realizing it (ex: “That is a horrible Photoshop mask!” or “I wouldn’t use that color scheme. A softer blue would do just nicely.”)

You look upon a well-designed project with either sympathy or extreme jealousy.

Your hand is permanently stuck in the shape of a mouse.

You tell stories of exacto-knife inflicted wounds with grizzled sort of pride.

You have an appreciation for everything unique.

You buy a CD, DVD or book for the artwork, even if you have no idea what the actual music, film or story is like. Even worse, you don’t actually watch, listen or read it, you just stare at it for hours and hug it in adoration.

Forget the Boy-Wonder and the Man of Steel; your heroes have names like ‘Tibor Kalman’, ‘Stefan Sagmeister’, ‘Paul Rand’, and ‘Paula Scher’.

You’re in the sun and you look around for a Drop Shadow to sit under.

You give your relatives a lecture about color spaces and profiles when you email them your vacation photos.

You can’t stand having photos in your albums that are not color corrected.

Seeing someone use Lens Flare and Comic Sans adversely affects your blood-pressure.

You maintain a grid system for your refrigerator magnets.

You organize your CD collection according to the Pantone chart.

You sit at work for eight hours straight just looking at your monitor, waiting for a spark of inspiration that doesn’t come.

You look at the clock and see it’s about midnight and think ‘I’ll go to bed now’… and you actually go to bed about 2 am.

You’re up ’til 5 am because you came up with the best idea ever while brushing your teeth.

You deliberately butcher your perfectly cross browser compatible site in IE by placing a “Too Cool for IE” banner on it.

You refer to colleagues as Strict, Transitional, Loose and the Future Unemployed.

You prefer a Layer Style of 50% Opacity (or less) on your wife’s satin.

You can spot bad typography from 100 yards away.

You can name more than 200 fonts in under five minutes.

You can identify fonts used by major companies in less than 10 seconds.

You know Lorem Ipsum by heart.

Your kid knows Lorem Ipsum by heart.

Activating your entire font collection makes your computer crash.

When you know what “kerning” is and you really, really like it.

You spend $200 on a font for your personal website because “it’s the only one where the lower-case g is just right…”

You use words about fonts you dislike that other normal people reserve for fascist dictators and serial killers.

You know that rivers and lakes are more than just water.

Kerning and leading on your shopping list actually matters to you, and you don’t see a problem with that.

Your significant other and/or friends have threatened to never speak to you again if you point out one more font to them.

If you could go back in time you wouldn’t go back to see the rise and fall of civilizations, you’d go back in time to destroy the creators of Comic Sans and Papyrus.

Looking at a restaurant menu make you go “hmmm, ITC Baskerville italic” rather than “mmmm, lunch!”

And when you finally order, you go for Layer Based Slices with Grain Texture.

Cmd+Z is the first thing that goes through your mind if you break something.

The only people who seem to know what you do for a living are other Graphic Designers (ex: “Graphic Design? What’s that? You’ll never be able to make a living being an artist!”)

You know that “bleeding” doesn’t hurt.

You know the difference between fuchsia, magenta, and maroon.

Deciding on the right crop doesn’t involve a choice between corn or wheat.

You’ve considered naming your children things like ‘Kern’, ‘Pica’, ‘Bézier’, and ‘Serif’.

You can understand everything on this list and relate to almost all of it.

I didn’t write this entire list, but I modified a few and added some of my own. Hope you got a laugh! Anything else you would add?